Ask With No Expectation
Original post: 13 May 2020
As we delve into this topic I am fully aware that we can go as deep as the ocean about the subject matter at hand, but this post is about one area in particular: Invites.
I consider myself an introverted extrovert. I enjoy my time alone wholeheartedly. I love being home, after all, I spent a nice amount of money on the purchase of said home and I damn well intend to enjoy it! I also NEED said time alone to hit the reset button. Being around too much energy all the time is mad draining and it would actually behoove some of you to just step away from the chaos from time to time, yourselves! But I also HATE being the center of attention! I remember having to travel to different schools and libraries to read my book to the kids and being a completely nervous wreck! Or being asked to the stage at several USO events or awards ceremonies and shooting my counterparts a look that said, "Oh, bitch you tried it! Wait till we finish up here!" Lol. Of course, they already knew how much I hated it which is why they did it to begin with. Us and our dark sense of humor. Gotta love it!
Then there were the people who absolutely did NOT believe that crowds or being called out for awards or asked to speak in front of groups gave me so much anxiety. Why? Because at the same time, I am a people person through and through! I live for one on one or small group interaction with the people I love and are most comfortable with and I become instant friends with anyone I meet, well, for the most part. I've said it before and I'll say it again; If we don't get along or I ghost you, you best believe you earned that shit! Either your energy was just wrong from the start or you showed me who you were and I believed you. Period.
Either way, what I've found is that my friends have become very comfortable hosting events and not asking me to attend. The consensus is this: We didn't think you would come. Um, 'scuse me?! First of all, did I want to attend? Probably not. Would I have come up with an excuse? More than likely. But should you have asked? Damn right, Ho!
Now don't get me wrong! I love my people and I know they love me but I love my solitude, too! I get them and I appreciate that they get me. But you could still ask a bih! Dang! Do y'all know how many times I've asked y'all mutha f*ckas out and prayed to all the good lords that you would have DECLINED the invite? Put that 'I HOPE they cancel' energy out into the atmosphere? Nope!
So do me the favor next time and just ask. I'm probably going to say yes and sound really excited and then have to "do something with my kids" when the actual date rolls around. But, still. Ask.......with absolutely ZERO expectation!
**For you super sensitive thumb thugs waiting to be all like, "That's rude" or "People may need a head count", please be advised that while there is some truth to this, I absolutely always show up for my friends when it counts and it is within my means. Also, fuck you!
LOVE YOU, Fam!!!